School of Frock: It ain't broke, so Claudia Schiffer doesn't need to fix it

CLAUDIA SCHIFFER (A-)

Premiere of Rocketman in New York City

Gown: Zuhair Murad

This is basically the aqua version of last week's magical rainbow gown she floated around in at Rocketman's London premiere - and it is just as mesmerising. If this is some special two-for-one offer, she got a great deal. Supermodel glamour at its finest.

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SHAILENE WOODLEY (C+)

Premiere of Big Little Lies 2 New York City

Bodysuit and jumpsuit: Christian Dior

Shoes: Christian Louboutin

After all these years, I still can’t figure out Woodley’s style – and obviously neither can she. Sexy mod bombshell certainly isn’t sitting right. The sheer culottes are so comically bad, they cancel all that is good from the waist up.

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KELLY ROWLAND (C+)

Waco Theatre Centre’s Wearable Art Gala in Santa Monica

Top, pants and shoes: Not known

The theme for this year is A Journey To The Pride Lands, based on the upcoming Walt Disney movie The Lion King, and Rowland is indeed serving tribal jungle realness. Too bad it is all ruined by the inexplicable garter belts-and-chaps action going on below the thighs.

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TAYLOR SWIFT (C-)

iHeartRadio Wango Tango concert in California

Top, shorts and shoes: Not known

Even Joseph would take a glance at Swift’s non-amazing technicolour dreamcoat and go, “Hell, no”. I am a fan of the rainbow trend, but this garish, clownish interpretation is testing the limits of the spectrum. The sneakers are pretty cute though.

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BRYCE DALLAS HOWARD (F)

Premiere of Rocketman in New York City

Gown: The Vampire’s Wife

Howard is a great actress and socially conscious human being, but she needs a stylist who knows how to showcase her curves effectively so we can stop witnessing red carpet self-sabotage via this frumpy, ill-fitting satin prairie dress that pulls at all the wrong places. No shade here – I just feel sorry.