S M Ong: Storming ST Kinetics for aliens? Uh... ST Kinetics doesn’t exist
I'm spacing out.
What year is this? 2019 or 1999?
Is that why people are suddenly talking about extraterrestrials like it's pre-Y2K - when we were obsessing over The X-Files on TV?
The show was like the Stranger Things of the 90s but with more paranoia and less Winona Ryder.
Or is it 1969?
Is that why I'm seeing all this news about the first man on the moon?
Oh, it's the 50th anniversary.
Ironic, isn't it? We can put a man on the moon, but we still can't use bitcoin to hire a hitman on the Dark Web to kill our ex-lover's boyfriend without getting caught.
But the lunar landing's golden jubilee is not why we suddenly have celestial beings on our minds.
Nor is it due to Men In Black International because that movie was so last month and not very good.
No, aliens are cool again thanks to a joke Facebook page called "Storm Area 51, They Can't Stop All Of Us", which went viral last week like a certain app that can make your face look old and send your personal data to the Russians.
Area 51 is a classified US Air Force facility where conspiracy theorists believe the US government is secretly doing stuff with flying saucers and their other-worldly occupants.
More than 1.8 million users have supposedly confirmed on the Facebook page that they are "going" to "storm Area 51" on Sept 20.
Although I'm one of the 1.8 million, it may shock you to learn that I may not actually go. The main reason is Area 51 is in America, which is very far.
Fortunately, for those in Singapore, someone has created a "Storm ST Kinetics, They Can't Stop All Of Us" Facebook event page.
ST Kinetics is in Boon Lay, which is much closer.
Why ST Kinetics? Because it manufactures advanced military products for the Singapore Government, possibly using alien technology, who knows?
The page has these instructions: "We will all meet up at the ST Kinetics Main Entrance and coordinate our entry. If we do our contact drills, we can dodge all their SAR21s and Terrexes. Let's see them aliens."
More than 1,700 have indicated that they're "going" to the Sept 20 local event. More than 3,400 are "interested".
Interestingly, while Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong has warned us about using FaceApp, he has yet to warn us against storming ST Kinetics.
But before committing, I messaged a friend who works at ST Electronics to find out whether he can provide any inside intel on ST Kinetics since both companies are under Singapore Technologies, which is what ST stands for.
His reply came as a shock.
"No more ST Kinetics," he wrote.
What? An entire company just warped itself out of existence to escape being stormed by 1,700 alien hunters? Maybe ST Kinetics does have UFO tech and really doesn't us to know about it.
Actually, as my friend explained, ST Kinetics has been renamed ST Engineering Land Systems since June last year.
Just as the company he works for has been renamed ST Engineering Electronics.
The confusion arises because if you search for "ST Kinetics" online, much of the information has not been updated, including on Wikipedia and Google Maps.
Somehow, "Storm ST Engineering Land Systems" doesn't quite have the same ring to it.
I sent my friend a link to an article about the "Storm ST Kinetics" page and he was intrigued.
He messaged back: "Hope my pass can sneak in…"
My hero! He must have realised that just because ST Kinetics isn't called ST Kinetics any more doesn't mean it isn't hiding alien secrets.
In the end, one man may accomplish what 1,700 or 1.8 million can't. No storming necessary.
The truth is out there in Jalan Boon Lay.