Woman, 71, is sole caregiver of daughter and sister with mental disorders, and husband who had cancer
For over a decade now, Madam Kong Ching Mei, 71, has been the sole caregiver of her daughter, who has bipolar disorder; her younger sister, who has schizophrenia; and her husband, who is recovering from cancer.
Yet, she still finds time to volunteer with mental health advocacy group Silver Ribbon Singapore.
Yesterday, Madam Kong was one of 15 volunteers who were recognised for their long service with Silver Ribbon.
In 2013, Madam Kong realised that something was amiss when her only child, now 44, started to throw jewellery and wads of cash out of the window.
That was one of her daughter's episodes of mania. She was later diagnosed with bipolar disorder.
After each of her daughter's counselling sessions with the charity's executive director, Ms Porsche Poh, Madam Kong would have long discussions with Ms Poh. This was so that the mother could identify warning signs and better empathise with her daughter.
"Madam Kong would come with a list of questions and ask: 'How can I support my daughter? Why did she relapse this time?'" said Ms Poh, 50.
During the episodes of mania, Madam Kong's daughter would go out drinking, visit karaoke bars and spend money excessively. One time, she ordered 1,000 pastries from a bakery over the phone.
Engaging in risky behaviour, such as spending cash excessively, during manic episodes is a key symptom of a person with bipolar disorder.
Madam Kong's sister, 63, was diagnosed with schizophrenia about 20 years ago. She lives with Madam Kong's family in a three-room flat in Ang Mo Kio.
Seven years ago, Madam Kong's husband was diagnosed with prostate cancer and his condition stabilised after surgery. But he has to take medication, including for his heart condition and diabetes.
Madam Kong has to keep track of all their medication and remind each person to take their pills on time. She takes a breather by reading religious texts and the newspapers and listening to the radio. She also offers ad-hoc facial services.
She has been volunteering with Silver Ribbon since 2016, where she shares her journey as a caregiver and checks on seniors living alone in rental flats.
There were times when Madam Kong was physically and emotionally drained. But things have been looking up lately.
Her daughter has not suffered a relapse in over a year, as both mother and daughter have worked hard to identify and avoid triggers. She has also started working part-time at a noodle stall, while Madam Kong's sister works as a cleaner.
Madam Kong said: " I want to continue learning about mental health so I can empathise with them."
• Additional reporting by Tay Hong Yi
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