Neil Humphreys: Does nobody want top-four spot?
Spurs, Chelsea, Man United and Arsenal have picked up a combined six points from their last three matches
Sevilla FC said it best in a tweet. If English Premier League teams don't want fourth place, the tweet read, then just give the Champions League slot to the Spanish side instead.
The La Liga club have a point. The English also-rans are treating the top four with all the reverence of a visit to a proctologist, coming up with endless excuses for not turning up.
They're exhausted. They don't travel well. There are too many work commitments in Europe. They're struggling with an indecisive boss. They've got a Spanish colleague who smears butter on his fingers.
From David de Gea to Sarriball, from Arsenal's away record to Tottenham Hotspur's Champions League distractions, the excuses are at least consistent in their creativity. Not much else is.
All four scarcely deserve elite European football next season.
In the last three games, both Manchester City and Liverpool have taken maximum points.
Across the same three games, Tottenham have picked up three points, Chelsea just two, Manchester United only one and Arsenal got nothing. That's six points between all four clubs.
In other words, City and Liverpool picked up more points on their own (nine), than the other four clubs combined (six). That's a damning indictment of not only their inconsistency but also the divide between the top two and the rest.
Of course, there are mitigating circumstances.
Tottenham deserve credit rather than criticism for clinging to third spot, despite the loss of Harry Kane and their unexpected run to the Champions League semi-finals. Mauricio Pochettino's threadbare resources are stretched to the limit.
And Pochettino is fortunate that his main rival is a manager who never met a footballer he couldn't play in the wrong position.
With N'Golo Kante, the world's best defensive midfielder that time forgot, playing on the right wing, Maurizio Sarri's Chelsea are a study in frustration.
Talented but stodgy, their mercurial form is best illustrated by their away form - five losses in their last eight games.
Sarriball, like Chelsea generally, is perplexing to watch. The nagging suspicion remains that the wrong man sits in the dugout.
Meanwhile, the Gunners are making Jekyll and Hyde look like identical twins. Decent at home, downright awful away, Arsenal's schizophrenic defending was in full, horrific display at Leicester.
BLUNDERERS
Unai Emery's blunderers have now conceded three goals in three consecutive matches - a feat not achieved at Arsenal since 1967.
Surely, no one else can match the Gunners' valiant attempts not to qualify for the Champions League?
Step forward, David de Gea.
And then fall over.
The United goalkeeper's latest mistake against Chelsea - spilling Antonio Ruediger's 35-metre shot and allowing Marcos Alonso to knock in the rebound - was his ninth in his last 11 appearances.
Throw de Gea's blunders in with an ageing back four and United are also well placed to drop the baton. Again.
But the four clubs' collective effort to behave with all the coordination and balance of a giraffe taking its first steps are symptomatic of a worrying trend.
A four-tier league has clearly emerged. The top two now occupy the most exclusive territory, roped off in a distant VIP section.
A ridiculous 21 points away, the also-rans masquerade as elite competitors as they fail to assert their top-four credentials.
They're too good to fall any further, but nowhere near accomplished enough to join the top two.
A further 11 points away, Wolves lead a pack of Europa League daydreamers before the relegation candidates complete the table.
There were always three tiers in the EPL, but now there are four, which shows the growing mediocrity of the other three. While City and Liverpool do as they please, the rest just make up the numbers.
That's the sobering reality for Spurs, Chelsea, Arsenal and United.
As long as they keep stumbling in such a dull race, it's going to be hard for anyone else to care.
TOP FOUR'S REMAINING EPL FIXTURES
MAN CITY:
- Leicester (May 7, Home)
- Brighton (May 12, Away)
LIVERPOOL:
- Newcastle (May 5, A)
- Wolves (May 12, H)
TOTTENHAM:
- Bournemouth (May 4, A)
- Everton (May 12, H)
CHELSEA:
- Watford (May 5, H)
- Leicester (May 12, A)
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