What my mother taught me about motherhood
This story is part of a Mother's Day series by TNP
I have always had a close bond with my mother but it got even stronger when I entered motherhood myself.
Becoming a mother made me better appreciate everything that my mother has done and still does for me, and I truly believe I would be lost if she were not in my life.
We lived in Hong Kong for 10 years and I reflect on how my mother raised us without a support system in her 20s.
Motherhood deepened my admiration for my mother's independence and strength. Raising us in a foreign country while my father worked long hours wasn't easy. Though a loving presence in the evenings and weekends, the weight of daily childrearing fell on her.
Fast forward to 2020, I gave birth to twin boys at 32 and found myself, like my mother, in the operating theatre alone (it was the height of Covid-19).
However, I was fortunate to have the best support system – my husband, mother, brother and aunt, who continue to be my village.
Another thing I respect about my mother is the boundaries she established in her role as a grandmother. She has been with me every step of this journey but drew a hard line when it came to diaper changing or "work" of any kind, including washing bottles or preparing baby food.
Obviously, it would have made things easier for me but I understand why she did it. Now that she's in her 60s, she just wants to enjoy her grandchildren.
Those boundaries forced me to gain my own independence and confidence in being a mother.
There have been no boundaries on cuddles and love, and it warms my heart to see my sons forming a close bond with their grandmother.
I sometimes wonder if there is any way I could express my gratitude for all she has done for me, especially over the past four years, but I know that I've given her the greatest gift of all, her two grandchildren.
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