School of frock: Hot mess edition

Hear that sound? That's me scraping the bottom of the red carpet barrel in yet another week where hardly anyone bothered to wear stuff to get excited about

KERRY WASHINGTON

2015 TCA Summer Press Tour in Los Angeles

Dress: Mary Katrantzou

Shoes: Christian Louboutin

B

This could possibly be the prettiest baroque wallpaper pattern I've laid eyes on, but it also makes for a nice sheath. The harmonious reverse colour contrast on the top and bottom also keeps things interesting.

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C+

KATE MARA

Premiere of Fantastic Four in New York

Dress: Valentino

Shoes: Stuart Weitzman

Let's face it, no amount of dark, "edgy" black leather can alter the fact that Mara is a charisma vacuum.

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C

MARIAH CAREY

Hollywood Walk of Fame ceremony in Los Angeles

Gown: Yousef Aljasmi

But of course a music diva like Carey would turn up for an afternoon outdoor event in something completely excessive. Surely that's a tad too much cleavage, mesh and glittery beading for the occasion.

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C

TYRA BANKS

2015 TCA Summer Press Tour in Los Angeles

Dress: Bryan Hearns

Shoes: Tony Bianco

Banks is evidently one very indecisive woman. She's wearing two dresses here - and both of them obviously can't stand each other.

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D

BELLAMY YOUNG

2015 TCA Summer Press Tour in Los Angeles

Dress: Valentino

Shoes: Tamara Mellon

Clutch: Edie Parker

She plays the First Lady on TV show Scandal, but, off-screen, dresses like a cast member of The Real Housewives. The real scandal here is her bangs trauma and all those ill-advised accessories.

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F

REGINA KING

2015 TCA Summer Press Tour in Los Angeles

Jumpsuit: Tamara Mellon

Shoes: Christian Louboutin

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WHO WORE IT BETTER?

Dockery’s more conservative, vintage-glam sister piece to Delevingne’s short version is fine, but I prefer the latter’s youthful edge and modern styling of the Dion Lee design that boasts an exquisite emerald green hue and net-like overlay.

CARA DELEVINGNE V MICHELLE DOCKERY

Premiere of Paper Towns in Sydney, Australia, July 5 2015 TCA Summer Press Tour in Los Angeles, Aug 1

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MOST IMPROVED

TRACEE ELLIS ROSS

There truly isn’t enough newsprint space to list what’s wrong about this plunging belted leather jumpsuit attempted by Diana Ross’ actress daughter. She’s 42. She should stick to the simple sophistication of flattering floral print pencil dresses, especially when she’s wearing the hell out of this particular silhouette.

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SPECIAL MAN-TION

MICHAEL B JORDAN

Premiere of Fantastic Four in New York

Suit: Givenchy

The Fantastic Four actor has displayed such fantastic taste in suits so far that I don't even mind that this double-breasted pinstripe get-up makes him look like an old-timey mafioso. A hot one, at least.