‘My father’s ashes were tainted’: Family laments mix-up where remains were wrongly given away
Madam Adelynne Tan and her family were expecting to retrieve her deceased father’s ashes at the collection centre of the government-managed Mandai Crematorium on the afternoon of Aug 8.
What they got instead was a shock when they were told that his remains had been given to the wrong family.
The family, after expressing their dissatisfaction over the mix-up, have accepted the formal apology given to them by the National Environment Agency (NEA).
“We had no idea where our father’s remains were, and no idea which family took them,” Madam Tan, a 41-year-old clinic executive, told The Straits Times. “What if they had already planned a burial that involved scattering my father’s ashes?”
Earlier on Aug 8, the family had sent the 69-year-old Mr Tan, who died on Aug 4, on his final journey at Mandai Crematorium. The family had planned to take the urn containing his ashes to Choa Chu Kang Columbarium to place in a niche.
At the collection centre, the family was told that the average length of time of the process was about 30 minutes. After that time elapsed, Madam Tan’s brother approached the counter to inquire about the status of the collection.
An employee at the counter took the family’s collection form before going into a separate room to locate her father’s ashes, Madam Tan said. The employee, however, came out empty-handed.
Madam Tan was subsequently informed in person, by an employee of her funeral service provider, that her father’s remains had been given to the wrong next of kin.
“The staff member at the counter did not even mention that my dad’s ashes had already been given to somebody else,” lamented Madam Tan.
According to Madam Tan, after taking about 15 minutes to locate the wrong recipient of the ashes, the collection centre directed her to Mandai Crematorium, where she found her father’s ashes at an altar that had been arranged by another family.
But Madam Tan and her family’s ordeal did not end, even after they managed to successfully retrieve her father’s remains.
Because of the mix-up, the entire process of retrieval – which normally takes about 30 minutes – took an additional 30 minutes, said Madam Tan. The delay also meant the family had to rush.
They were assigned a room to transfer her father’s ashes into the family’s chosen urn and had to race through rituals, so they could finish in time to place the urn in the niche at Choa Chu Kang Columbarium, which closed for the day at 5.30pm.
“We’re very upset because the columbarium and the ash collection centre are both managed by NEA,” said Madam Tan.
“Knowing there was a (mistake), the least they could have done was inform (the columbarium) that there had been a delay and that the family was going over.”
She added: “In the midst of transferring, the family also found coins in the first urn. My father’s ashes had been tainted.”
In response to ST’s queries, an NEA spokesman acknowledged the error and said it had apologised to the families involved, and would provide support to them, without specifying.
Said the spokesman: “When the mistake was discovered around 10 minutes later, efforts were taken immediately to recover the remains, which were returned to the correct family that same afternoon.”
It added: “This is a serious lapse. Our investigation found that the officer involved did not follow the required protocol for the release of cremated remains.”
NEA said it will take disciplinary action against the errant officer, and admitted that its officers at the Ash Collection Centre “should also have handled the situation better”.
It added that it has put in place additional safeguards at the collection centre to avoid a repeat of the incident, although it did not say what these safeguards were.
Madam Tan said she hoped that sharing her story would help others avoid a similar experience.
“Even in grief, we should always take necessary precaution… Because this is the final lap of someone’s life journey. It is important and should be dealt with care,” she said.
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