New Zealand couple’s 40-year search for their S’porean amah
When Mrs Laurie Rands first came to live in Singapore in 1971 with her serviceman husband Frank, she was 18 years old, newly married and did not know anyone on this tropical island.
Her fears soon eased when she met her amah, or housemaid, Mrs Lily Wong, who was hired to look after the couple’s house along Kasai Road in Seletar.
The two women quickly grew close despite their age gap – Mrs Wong was in her 40s – and they bonded over topics like their families.
Even after Mrs Rands, now 70, returned to New Zealand in 1973, she and Mrs Wong kept in touch for years through letters. Mrs Wong’s daughters wrote the letters on behalf of their mother who was illiterate.
But their communication came to an abrupt end when Mrs Rands received a letter in 1980 informing her that Mrs Wong was ill and in hospital.
Fearing the worst, she tried reaching out to Mrs Wong’s children but her letters went unanswered.
More than 40 years later, Mrs Rands is still searching for Mrs Wong’s family or her gravesite, presuming she had passed on.
“Lily was truly the most wonderful lady. I was very young back then and we were lucky to have Lily, who was more mature and knowledgeable, to help us,” she told The Sunday Times in a video interview.
About a year after she came to Singapore, Mrs Rands gave birth to a baby girl and Mrs Wong helped her learn the ropes of motherhood.
“Lily was such a steady presence and experienced with children. I knew that if anything were to happen, we could rely on her,” she said.
Mrs Wong would go to her employer’s house six days a week from 9am to 4pm to clean the terrace house.
When Mrs Rands offered to help with the housework, Mrs Wong always said no.
“She was offended as she took it to mean that she wasn’t doing her work well,” said Mrs Rands.
Mrs Rands, who has a son and a daughter in their 50s, said Mrs Wong was Chinese and spoke Cantonese, but pictures seen by ST suggest she had a tan complexion and could have been Peranakan.
Mrs Wong lived in a kampung in Serangoon before moving to a flat in Toa Payoh sometime in 1972, according to Mrs Rands.
“She wasn’t keen on moving to the high-rise unit at first as she was close to people in the kampung. But after she moved in, she was very proud of her new home and invited us to visit.”
On the day of their return to New Zealand, Mrs Rands could not bear to say goodbye. She said: “I ran into another room and sobbed my heart out. I cried and cried while my husband said goodbye to Lily. She was a part of our family and it was just too painful.”
When the couple made their first trip back to Singapore in 2015, they inquired about Mrs Wong with several government agencies. They also went back to their old address, with old photos in hand, to see if any neighbours recognised Mrs Wong. They left disappointed.
“I would love to meet her daughters again and tell them how thankful I am for their mother, or visit Lily’s grave if she has passed and pay my respects.”
Mrs Rands said Mrs Wong had two daughters who were between the ages of 14 and 16 in the early 1970s. They would be in their 60s now.
The couple will be returning to Singapore in December and hope to meet Mrs Wong’s family.
Mrs Rands still keeps a Buddha statue that Mrs Wong had hand-blessed at a temple in Singapore.
“Every time I dust it, I think of our Lily. She was one in a million and she often comes up in conversations with our family,” she said.
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