Why Indian parents will always be right about marriage

It’s a universal truth that desi (from India) parents possess an otherworldly superpower: They are always right. In fact, their predictive accuracy could put the world’s finest fortune tellers out of business.

From what food you should eat to whom you should marry (arranged marriages, after all, are enjoying a comeback in Singapore), their advice is a finely tuned blend of wisdom and cosmic intuition.

Take my friend Meera, for example. A successful professional in her early 30s, she had confidently declared she was “never going to go for an arranged marriage”. But, after years of romantic misfires, she started to feel the tug of parental influence.

Her mother’s parting shot on the matter – “Wait till you’re 30, you’ll see things differently!” – came back like a boomerang, hitting her right on the nose. Now, she’s all set to meet “a nice boy from a good family”, and her mother’s smug smile practically glows through their WhatsApp calls.

The ‘you’ll see when you’re older’ mantra

Desi parents operate on the “you’ll see when you’re older” principle, a gem of wisdom that applies to everything.

Now, let’s not kid ourselves. Arranged marriages today aren’t the set-ups of yore. No one is trotting out biodata and horoscopes on the first date (well, not openly, anyway). But the idea that your parents might actually know a thing or two about compatibility is gaining ground.

And desi parents are relishing this as the ultimate “I told you so” moment.

‘Eat this, it’s good for your health” (or is it?)

A major part of the desi parents’ superpower involves their intimate knowledge of food and its supposed benefits. It’s like having a personal nutritionist who’s always available – and doesn’t charge.

“Eat more ghee, it’s good for the bones,” they say, spooning dollops of clarified butter onto your rice. Question it, and they’ll tell you: “Your dadi (grandmother) lived to 96 on this diet.” Meanwhile, you’re just hoping your cholesterol will, mercifully, behave.

But all this wisdom is moot when it comes to feeding prospective grooms or brides. It’s as if a successful match is made only if the prospect can survive fatal doses of mithai (sweets) and masala chai!

The magical art of knowing your fate (without asking)

Desi parents have a mystical foresight about our lives that even the stars can’t match. Who needs a crystal ball when you have a parent who knew you’d become an engineer (despite your childhood aspirations of being a trapeze artiste)?

The irony is that, even if you do somehow end up as a trapeze artiste, they’ll claim they knew that all along too. And, when it comes to marriage, they have an uncanny ability to scope out compatibility.

They’ve had a mental list of “nice boys” and “good girls” on standby since our kindergarten days. Your father might “accidentally” mention that “Mrs Singh’s son has a stable job and cooks”. The matchmaking hints are subtle as a storm, but undeniable.

Why they’re never wrong – ever

Desi parents operate on a level of certainty that most of us can only aspire to. Once they’ve set their minds on something – like an arranged marriage being the key to a stable life – there’s no wavering.

You could present them with statistics, the results of scientific studies, and even the wisdom of Google. But nothing shakes their confidence. “Statistics can be wrong,” they say. “I know because I have lived it.”

The modern twist: Self-arranged marriages

But now, in a modern-day plot twist that no desi parent could’ve seen coming, today’s young singles are taking the concept of arranged marriage into their own hands – literally.

Instead of meeting potential partners at family gatherings, they’re now browsing “profiles” on apps like Tinder or Coffee Meets Bagel. It’s a fascinating hybrid where they arrange the match themselves, then fall in love – essentially self-arranged love matches, all carefully vetted by one’s own judgment (and a few strategic selfies).

To our parents, this might seem like outsourcing the family’s job to a dating app, but it is the latest evolution. “Arranged marriages are on trend, Amma!” my friend Priya says, swiping left and right on her phone. “I’m just handling the introductions myself.”

In her view, these “self-arranged” apps are the modern matchmaker, complete with a few filters to screen out non-viable prospects.

Imagine the irony: Our parents spent years vetting families and horoscopes, only for us to decide that apps and algorithms work just as well – no family gathering required.

Yet, when these self-arranged matches work out, desi parents don’t mind. They beam proudly, declaring: “See, we told you this is the modern way. Arranged marriage and love marriage both!

In the end, it’s a new era of arranged marriage, one where the kids pick the candidates, but parents can still bask in the satisfaction that they were right all along: Love is nice, but a well-arranged match is timeless.