Screen time guidelines for kids: Feasible or fantasy for busy families?

After a long day at work, Mr Justin Ko’s guilty pleasure is watching his favourite shows during dinner at home.

On weekday evenings, he allows his children to do the same on their own iPads when their mother comes home late from work.

“I pick them up, and I cook and feed them. So they end up eating and watching shows on their individual iPads while I clean up in the kitchen and clear the dirty laundry,” said Mr Ko, 37, an assistant programme director at a media company.

His wife, who is stricter about keeping devices away during meals, is a marketing manager.

Working parents like Mr Ko and his wife agree with the broad strokes of the recently announced screen-use guidelines, but said that they need more support to put them into practice, especially when they are juggling work, family and other responsibilities.

Part of a new national health strategy to encourage children and adolescents up to 12 years old to adopt healthier lifestyles, the updated recommendations announced by the Health Ministry on Jan 21 include not giving children screen time during meals or one hour before bedtime.

Children younger than 18 months old should not be allowed screen use except for video calls. And those under the age of seven should not be exposed to screens in the background.

Parents said that while they are aware of the harms posed by devices, they face challenges in limiting screen time.

“For parents like us, with no domestic helper, the iPads and TVs are lifesavers. They help when we’re juggling laundry, cooking, cleaning, working and everything else in between,” said Mr Ko.

Mr Ko said that his son, seven, and his daughter, five, eat faster when they have something to watch on YouTube while eating, plus there are other upsides.

“My daughter has become more extroverted and talkative since discovering YouTube,” he said, adding that she tries to emulate content creators like Salish Matter, a 15-year-old American social media personality and gymnast.

“My son has developed a witty, snarky sense of humour,” he added, commenting that he thanks American YouTubers like Mr Beast for his kids’ decent English-language skills.

That being said, he admitted that during the weekends, screen use “can get a little out of control”, especially when his kids ask to use their iPads once they wake up.

He offers them non-screen alternatives.

“We try to adjust by cutting back on screen time and bringing them out for activities... So it’s all about finding that balance.”

Some parents, like Ms Siti Norhidayah, 41, set screen time limits. Her six-year-old daughter gets 45 minutes of screen time a day, and her 12-year-old son gets two hours.

The homemaker, who does freelance Quranic teaching, sets app time limits for games and YouTube on her son’s phone using a parental control app called Family Link.

Mrs Pay Poh Ling, 43, a project manager, said her two children, aged eight and 11, are in school and student care for most of the day. So she does not restrict their screen time when they return home in the evening.

“By the time we come back from work, we need to make sure the children eat, shower, finish their work, brush their teeth... Limiting their screen time while we do all these becomes secondary,” she said.

Ms Melisse Lee, 43, who works in analytics, said her daughters, aged nine and 11, feel left out and resentful towards her and her husband when they see their peers using their phones without supervision, freely surfing YouTube and TikTok.

They would say: “My friends get to scroll funny videos, why can’t I?”

“For many, it’s easier to just say ‘yes’ to screen time and have a cheerful child, than to say ‘no’ and have to explain complex health and social issues to a resentful child,” said Ms Lee, who also has a seven-year-old son.

“Guidelines are a good start... but nationwide school policies are still needed,” she said, suggesting ideas like phone-free primary schools, locking up phones in secondary school until dismissal time, and banning social media use for kids under 16.

Ms Tan Hue Min, 37, an oral health therapist, said that her two children, aged three and five, each get about four hours of screen time a day. They usually watch gameplay videos on YouTube, while their grandmother prepares their meals and feeds them.

She acknowledged that screen use in her household is excessive, and wants to do better.

“The new guidelines have changed my mindset, because I’m more afraid to show them the phone outside with what I know now. But it’s going to be tough to change,” she said.

Other parents like Ms Annabelle Ang, 31, are doubtful about the impact of such guidelines.

She said her two-year-old daughter attends playgroup classes and her five-month-old son is in her domestic helper’s care while she and her husband are at work.

“At the end of the day, we as parents can only do so much. Pre-school teachers and helpers definitely need to know (the guidelines) too, so they’re aligned with parents’ views,” said Ms Ang, who works in banking.

Dr Jiow Hee Jhee, a communications professor at the Singapore Institute of Technology researching the impact of digital media on families, said that it is important not to overlook the critical role of other caregivers.

Since many households with young children rely on relatives or domestic helpers to manage children’s screen use when parents are at work, he said they need to be included in public education efforts.

What about schools?

From February, all pre-schools will need to follow an updated Code of Practice, which will specify that infants up to 18 months old should not have any screen time. Screens should be used only for teaching and learning purposes for children aged 18 months to six years.

Ms Rowena Mark Ramos, 37, head of curriculum at Babilou Family Singapore, which runs KiddiWinkie Schoolhouse and Little Footprints Preschool, said that its centres already have in place clear guidelines for screen use, including mobile phone rules for teachers.

At its pre-schools, children up to three years of age mostly do not have any screen time, and there is no background screen use allowed for all children as well. “We do have strict guidelines for our teachers to put their phones away, and not use them in the presence of the children,” said Ms Rowena.

While it is natural for children to be curious about screens and devices once they are old enough to notice them, she said the key is not to overly restrict access, especially for older children.

Instead, schools can integrate digital content as part of activities or lessons if necessary, to enhance the learning experience. 

“It might cause the ‘forbidden fruit’ effect, but the key is to balance screen time by ensuring it’s used meaningfully and purposefully to teach,” she said.

For example, instead of playing a video of the beach to teach children about it, schools can organise a field trip to East Coast Park so that students can feel the sand, listen to the waves and feel the seawater for a more authentic learning experience.

She added that there is no need for extensive screen time, as pre-school children learn better through hands-on play and experiential learning.

“In a pre-school setting, the day is already planned with so much engaging activity, like using their hands for art and craft, messy playing, going outdoors and running around, so there’s really no need for screens to fill time,” she said. 

Ms Thian Ai Ling, general manager at anchor pre-school operator My First Skool, said that in all its centres, children below 18 months are not given any screen time. If older children are given screen time, it is only to complement teaching or for educational purposes.

A key aspect is to find a good balance for screen use, she said, which requires thoughtful planning and consideration of the developmental needs of children of different ages.

“Teachers and parents can model good behaviour by limiting screen time and prioritising face-to-face interactions at home,” said Ms Thian, adding that adults should sit with and engage children during screen time.

In school, educators can weave technology into play-based and traditional learning methods, she said. At My First Skool, drawing apps are used alongside paper and drawing resources, and storybook apps are paired with reading activities involving physical books.

Over the next two months, My First Skool will be rolling out a “digital media planner” – a magnet that can be placed on the fridge or family home spaces – to suggest how families can plan activities, including screen time, for young children.

Ms Carol Loi, a digital literacy educator who coaches parents, said that school work on screens could be harmful if it is not meaningful.

Purposeful educational screen time often requires critical thinking, problem-solving and creativity that can be mentally stimulating, although the line between school work and non-school work may not be as clear to children, she said.

“The blurring of school and home, work and play, could make relaxation or downtime harder to achieve and learning less effective, especially when children try to multitask during online schoolwork, toggling between homework and, say, watching videos or playing games.”

Setting controls, being connected

Parents have a huge role in shaping their children’s media habits, said Ms Loi, by first being aware of their own.

They also need to better understand child development in order to make informed decisions on when to introduce screens and how best to introduce them, she added.

For children to have a healthy relationship with screens and be discerning about what they are consuming through screens, building values and character is necessary, she said.

“It also involves investing in building strong relationships in the family so that boundaries and discipline relating to screens can be better communicated and implemented, without undue strain in family relationships.”

And parents cannot do this alone as children are growing up within a larger web of relationships – other caregivers such as domestic helpers, grandparents and teachers, said Ms Loi.

“A whole-of-society approach needs to be taken to raise our children well, without just putting the blame or responsibility on parents.” 

Mr Ko and his wife make an effort to join in their children’s online activities. “Keep an eye on their screens. If possible, have them use the big TV so you can see what’s going on and intervene when needed,” he said.

“My wife installed Roblox so she could join their games, and it’s become a family activity. I’ve installed co-op games on my PS5, like Minecraft Dungeons and Lego-themed games, so we can play together too.”

He feels it is okay to relax the rules sometimes, as parenting is tiring and screen time is a lifesaver for working parents.

He added: “At the end of the day, it’s about balance and knowing what works for your family.”