‘Amicable divorces’ benefit kids, smoothen proceedings: Experts

When Ms Sharon Loi, 43, a home tutor, initiated a divorce with her husband of six years in 2009, it became an emotionally draining process.

The experience was the same for John (not his real name), 53, who sought a divorce from his wife of 10 years in 2011.

He ended up having to rehash bad memories and disagreements and that broke what was left of the relationship, which affected his relationship with his two children.

Looking back, he said, if there was the option to have an "amicable divorce", he might still have a relationship with his children today.

It is an option the Ministry of Social and Family Development (MSF) is considering, as it seeks public feedback on the subject, with the consultation exercise open until June 3.

Under the Women's Charter, which covers non-Muslim divorces, there are three fault-based facts: adultery, unreasonable behaviour, or desertion.

In addition, there are two facts of separation: separation of three years with the spouse's consent and four years' separation without consent.

Minister of State for Social and Family Development Sun Xueling said under the new "amicable divorce" model, a couple could jointly file for divorce without the need for one to be a plaintiff and the other a defendant, which sets them up in an adversarial relationship.

She said the MSF, which has been engaging divorced parents and social service professionals, had received feedback that needing to cite fault in divorce papers can cause couples to revisit the pain and acrimony, which can lead to further rifts.

With the proposed option, current safeguards will remain. For instance, couples have to be married for at least three years before they can file for divorce.

The aim is to reduce the acrimony in the divorce process and not to make divorce "easier", said the public consultation paper on the matter.

The five current facts for divorce will remain for couples who prefer to cite them.

The number of divorces in Singapore has been hovering between 5,000 and sub-6,000 in the past 10 years, official figures show. They exclude Muslim divorces, which come under Syariah law.

PAIN

John, an operations manager, told The New Paper that having to be a plaintiff and defendant brought about a lot of pain for him, his ex-wife and ultimately their children.

"A marriage may break down, but the relationship between the two adults must continue for the sake of the children," he said.

Experts agree that having an "amicable divorce" option is beneficial to the children of a divorcing couple.

Dr Annabelle Chow, a clinical psychologist, said she supports the "amicable divorce" option becoming law so the couple's focus can be on taking care of their children.

"In my experience, both parties would usually spend a lot of time blaming each other for the breakdownand in that process, it affects the child," she said.

Ms Kulvinder Kaur, a partner at IRB Law, said allowing couples to divorce without citing a fault can cut the length of divorce proceedings by as much as a third.

She pointed out how the Presiding Judge of the Family Justice Courts, Justice Debbie Ong, had said in a Family Justice Courts' Workplan seminar last year that the current simplified divorce track, which enables couples agreeing on all divorce-related issues to shorten the duration of the process by up to 12 months, has already cut down drawn-out proceedings significantly, with six in 10 couples choosing this route in 2019.

But even under the simplified track, one would still need to provide reasons for the breakdown of the marriage, which could be a "stumbling block" in the process, said Ms Kaur.

"With the new 'amicable divorce' option, this roadblock is removed.

"Parties no longer need to argue over who was right and who was wrong... The divorce process will become much smoother," she added.

Mr Ivan Cheong, partner in the Family Law team at Withers KhattarWong LLP, said children would be less likely to feel they are caught between warring parents, which could be detrimental to their well-being.

While it may not always work, Ms Loi believes an amicable option could make proceedings easier.

"It may not have worked in my case... but if the couple had agreed to split, it would be an easier route," she said.

The public consultation exercise is published on MSF's websiteat go.gov.sg/ divorcesupportconsultation You can e-mail your views to PublicFeedback@msf.gov.sg until June 3.