School of Frock: Met Gala edition
Halloween came early at Met Gala with theme In America: A Lexicon of Fashion. So much ridiculousness, I'm too stumped to give scores
JENNIFER LOPEZ
Gown: Ralph Lauren
Sexy ranch hand J.Lo leaned into the theme with some Wild West frontier fashion - cowgirl hat, silver-plated medallion necklace, leather cuffs, holster belt, fur bolero and dirty brown palette. All that is missing is her stud. And no, that is not a Ben Affleck joke.
BILLIE EILISH
Gown: Oscar de la Renta
There is nothing overtly tragic here, unless seeing her sell out makes you sad and mad. For someone famed for her polarising sartorial individualism, Eilish - who said she was inspired by "Holiday Barbie" - chose to go full Marilyn Monroe cosplay for her princess moment and goes from 19 years old to 39 in an instant.
SIMONE BILES
Gown: Area x Athleta
Oops, the Olympian gymnast got a case of the "twisties" again. Only this time it is happening all over her dress, which was so heavy it took six people to move it. Whoever told Biles a 40kg tsunami of tortured crystal-coated fabric complete with extra "hips" would not overwhelm her 1.42m frame really did her dirty.
CL
Top: Alexander Wang
The K-pop star from 2NE1 seems to be paying tribute to the classic American textile - or perhaps the Statue of Liberty - by wearing denim curtains and a diaper. It must have been laundry day then.
KIM KARDASHIAN
Outfit: Balenciaga
From today, this could be your recurring nightmare, the demon you imagine hiding in the corner of your bedroom. Kardashian has literally turned into the shadow of her former self, turning up as the dementor from Harry Potter and calling it a day. Is she trying to tell us she is in a very dark place? Well, the whole thing is Covid-proof at least.
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