White ants will bite if you go sotong
If you don't understand the headline, you need to learn biker-speak
Our rides have changed a lot, and the technology behind newer motorcycles is undoubtedly different from what it was in the time of our fathers.
The way we speak has also evolved, along with the terms bikers use when communicating with each other.
And if you don't have a clue what bikers mean when they use words such as SQUID or Sotong in a text message, here is a quick guide to some local and foreign terms:
These are illegally installed skinny tyres. They are light and great for straight line acceleration but corner poorly due to their tiny contact patches.
Means "Stupidly Quick Under-dressed Imminently Dead". Picture a speeding biker wearing shorts, sneakers and no helmet.
Nothing to do with white rice. It's short for carburetor, the device where fuel and air is mixed and then sucked into the combustion chamber to be ignited. Modern bikes use electronic fuel injection or EFI.
This is not the act of dismantling your exhaust pipe and ridding it of carbon particles. Locally, it means riding so hard and fast that stubborn carbon deposits get ejected from exhaust pipes.
Totally unrelated to casinos. Jackpot is an illegal and highly dangerous race usually conducted in Johor, Malaysia. The organisers collect a pool of money, and first to the finish line wins the jackpot.
Malay for white ants. A local term for traffic cops. Maybe because like ants, they're hard to spot until it's too late.
A pillion back rest. Highly popular in the chopper genre where extreme sissy bars can extend 1m above the rear bumper.
ONE PER CENTER OR 1%ER
The term refers to outlaw bikers. As opposed to the majority, or 99 per cent, of the biking community who are law-abiding.
Short for Forever Two Wheels. Similar to ATM - All Things Motorcycle.
Made famous by American motocross rider James Stewart Jr. His "Bubba Scrub" is a jump technique which puts an MX bike just inches off the ground but in a horizontal fashion. A scrub saves time over curved jumps.
An ailment that plagues dirt bikers. Sliding up and down the surface of a motorcycle seat causes abrasion on the buttocks. Cures include wearing padded underwear and using lotion before riding.
Traditionally used to refer to the four main Japanese motorcycle manufacturers - Honda, Yamaha, Suzuki and Kawasaki.
Also known as wobbles. Your handle bar shakes violently from left to right, slapping your fuel tank.
Apes or ape hangers refer to handle bars that extend beyond a rider's shoulder.
A steep hill in Lorong Asrama near Mandai, formerly popular among local trail riders. It's also within a military training area.
Other famous riding spots are Widow Maker and Stairway to Heaven.
But my lips are sealed as to their locations. Go find out on your own.