Singaporean’s marital strife sets Indonesia socmed abuzz

Arlina Arshad Indonesia Bureau Chief

Mar 11, 2024 03:06 pm

She accused him of taking away their four children, including a baby who was still being breastfed, while he claimed she had neglected and hit them.

A marital fight between a Singaporean man and his South Korean wife – both living in Jakarta – has grabbed the attention of Indonesian media in the past week after they went online and appeared in podcasts by well-known YouTubers to blame each other for their souring 16-year marriage.

Tens of thousands of netizens have weighed in on the drama and are taking sides. Even the police have been involved and are investigating the case.

A woman identified by her initials BMJ had lodged a police report against a man, identified by his initials WMG, and a woman believed to be his personal assistant, TE, on March 6 with “allegations of crimes of adultery and the obstruction of exclusive breastfeeding”.

Jakarta police spokesman Ade Ary Syam Indradi confirmed this to reporters.

The scrutiny started after BMJ posted footage on Instagram of an altercation between her and WMG, believed to have taken place at an Indonesian hospital on March 1.

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She is shown chasing him, their pre-teen daughter and a woman believed to be TE, who is seen carrying an infant in her arms, as they are leaving the hospital.

In an Instagram post, among several others, a teary-eyed BMJ claimed she had not seen the baby girl since Jan 21.

She alleged that her mother-in-law had gone to her apartment and taken the child to their family house where her parents-in-law, husband and three other children reside.

She said she was allowed to look on from a distance for only five minutes.

She said: “What on earth? The mistress can hold the baby, but the birth mother cannot touch the baby, cannot feed the baby, cannot even go near the baby.

“I just wanted to hold the baby so much but they stopped me. I begged them to at least let me feed the baby, but everything was no… I just want my kids back.”

The Straits Times understands that BMJ moved from Singapore to Jakarta with their children, all Singaporeans, in late 2022 to live with her husband.

The woman claimed TE was introduced as WMG’s personal assistant, but she discovered later that he was having an affair with her. Netizens identified TE as a local dangdut singer from the footage BMJ posted.

Even as their relationship turned cold, she gave birth to their fourth child in October 2023. She claimed she was then kicked out of their family house and moved to an apartment with her baby.

BMJ had also pleaded for help from the employer of her husband, a vice-president of business development at a multinational cargo logistics company.

On March 8, WMG posted on LinkedIn saying his employment “has ended”, adding: “Thank you for being a part of my professional network. I look forward to staying in touch with you all.”

BMJ said all she wanted was to get her children back and settle their divorce through a court in Singapore. Since the news broke, it is not known if they have started legal proceedings in either Indonesia or Singapore.

In the latest development of the family saga, WMG and his eldest child appeared in a podcast on March 10, giving their side of the story from a hotel in Malaysia.

Although WMG and BMJ have identified themselves on social media platforms, ST is not naming them, to protect the identities of the children.

The daughter said BMJ had painted her father as “the villain” when she was the one who was “not really speaking the truth”.

She claimed her mother had anger issues and she would take it out on her children, with the daughter attempting to slit her wrist multiple times.

The daughter alleged that her mother was drunk almost every day, when they were in Singapore in 2022.

“Then she would… barge into our rooms, some mostly at night, and she would smash everything,” the girl claimed.

“She would scold us and yell at us and sometimes hit us also.”

In the same podcast, WMG claimed BMJ was spreading lies and accused her of child neglect and abuse. He also denied having a mistress, saying his personal assistant was only taking care of the children.

In his defence, WMG said he took the children away so he could protect them as he was unable to divorce BMJ, adding: “I told her I want to divorce her so many times last year. Every time I said that, she would go into the toilet and try to cut herself with the scissors and say, ‘I’d rather die’.”

On the recent online chatter about them, he said he was surprised by the backlash against him, saying it would be “ridiculous” for him to put his reputation and job on the line over a purported mistress.

He has since been fired by his company, threatened by netizens, and become “a punching bag of Indonesia”, he said.

“If you are in my shoes, and you know about the abuse that she has unleashed on my kids, how can I… as a father let her even have access to one of the kids?” he added.

He said his wife “has gone too far”, adding: “Look, there was a time to settle this privately, but that has passed. Stop before one of your kids gets hurt by you.”

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