Koreans divided over giving condolence money at pet funeral
SEOUL – Giving condolence money in a white envelope to those you are close to who are in mourning is a longstanding tradition in South Korea.
But when this custom coincides with South Korea’s increasing number of pet owners and evolving pet-friendly culture, it might take an unexpected turn in this nation, which recently outlawed the consumption of dog meat.
In a survey of 5,000 South Korean nationals conducted in 2022 by the Ministry of Agriculture, Food and Rural Affairs, nearly one in four respondents had a pet, with around 75 per cent owning a dog.
Recently, on Blind, an app designed for anonymous discussions among employees, a person shared a perplexing experience attending the funeral of a friend’s dog, where the person was expected to gift so-called “condolence money”.
“Upon noticing a collection box, I contributed 50,000 won (S$50) to avoid causing any discomfort to my friend, albeit feeling a bit taken aback,” the author wrote on Jan 8. “I am uncertain if this (expecting monetary condolence at a pet funeral) is the right thing.”
Those who commented negatively on the post were mainly split into two camps: those who were against the idea of hosting a dog funeral, and those who objected to giving condolence money at such a ceremony.
“It appears we’re now expected to give congratulatory money for a dog’s wedding,” quipped one commenter, referring to the whimsical idea of organising weddings for dogs. Another comment added sarcastically: “And even for a dog’s first birthday party.”
One comment expressed curiosity about whether the author had adhered to traditional funeral customs, such as bowing to a photo of the deceased on the altar, and if there had been a sangju, or chief mourner, overseeing the funeral arrangements and proceedings.
On the other hand, some were less concerned about the funeral itself and more focused on the practice of giving condolence money.
One commenter shed light on the customs’ origins, rooted in the principle of reciprocity, in which people who are close to each other gift cash at their respective ceremonies. However, since not everyone owns a pet, having to participate in this practice would defeat its intended purpose of reciprocal exchange, the user explained.
“If I were to hold a funeral for my dog, I wouldn’t invite my friends. I would prefer to mourn with just my family members,” pet owner Son, who has a 10-year-old maltese, told The Korea Herald. “I wouldn’t want to burden my friends if at all possible.”
Pet owner Kim Ji-hyo, who has an eight-year-old bichon frise, suggested an alternative approach. “At my friend’s dog’s funeral, I would present items the deceased dog used to enjoy. Instead of money, toys and snacks seem like better options to me.”
On the flip side, some commenters on the Blind post empathised more with the emotional dimension of the situation, endorsing the author’s decision to give condolence money to his heartbroken friend.
One comment noted: “The decision to give condolence money depends on one’s personal values. If my friend is experiencing significant pain, I prefer to stand by them, offer comfort, and share a meal.”
Others echoed a similar sentiment, adding that if close friends were facing such hardship, they would attend the funeral – whether for a dog, cat or hamster – and offer condolence money.
Another commenter said: “Upon the passing of my close friend’s dog, I sent 100,000 won in condolence money to alleviate my friend’s grieving heart.” He added that the dog’s death brought back memories of a similar experience he had endured with his own pet.
Taking a more pragmatic approach, some suggested taking into account the funeral expenses when determining the appropriate amount of condolence money to give.
Pet industry insiders remain neutral on the issue, pointing out that not everyone is on the same page when it comes to this burgeoning trend in South Korea’s increasingly pet-friendly culture. Inviting guests to a pet’s funeral with expectations of receiving condolence money might clash with the intended purpose of honouring and remembering the deceased pet, they noted. – KOREA HERALD/ ASIA NEWS NETWORK
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